


Break In

by waywardmoeyy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester x Reader Angst, Dean Winchester x Reader Fluff, Depression, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:29:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16701685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmoeyy/pseuds/waywardmoeyy
Summary: Dean feels guilty about how he has screwed everyone's lives up. And the reader, with demons of her own, tries to calm him down.





	Break In

You sat up in bed as you listened to the rustling on the other side of the wall. Dean was restless again, for the third night in a row. Judging by the clicking and clanking, he was cleaning his guns. Something was keeping him up at night and you were dead set on finding out what it was.  
But every time you asked him if he needed to talk, he pushed you out claiming to be fine. Bullshit. Something was eating at Dean Winchester. And now, it was keeping you awake.  
You took a deep breath and slid out of bed. He was going to talk to you tonight whether he liked it or not. He had no fucking choice.  
You twisted the doorknob and slowly opened the door to Dean’s room. “Dean?” you asked into the dimly lit room. He was perched on the edge of his bed, clutching the base of one of his pistols. He furiously scrubbed the metal with a small cloth, not look up at you. He definitely heard you, he had to. He was just ignoring you. “Dean? Why are you up this late—early?” Your gaze flicked to the small digital clock on his desk. 4:42am.  
Dean quickly reconstructed his gun and gently placed it on his small bedside table. He glared up at you, not lifting his head. Was he crying?  
“I’m sorry if I woke you, Y/N,” he choked. His voice was low and raspy. He was crying, and trying his hardest to hide it from you.  
You approached the oldest Winchester and silently sat beside him on the bed. Your eyes glance up and down his face, soaking in every feature. His flushed cheeks were stained with salty tears. His emerald green eyes were bloodshot. But he still made your heart flutter.  
You reached for his hand, lacing your fingers with yours and giving him a light squeeze. “Now, Mr. Winchester, there is no way you are going to convince me that you are okay. I know something is eating you alive inside. Please, let me help you.”  
Dean yanked his hand from yours. “I don’t want your help and I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ask anyone. I’ll figure it out,” Dean spat, making you wince.  
You glanced away from him and stared down at your knees. “You know, I didn’t ask if you wanted my help.” You bit your lip as you turned back towards him. “I’m giving it to you whether you want it or not. I’m worried about you, Dean. I can’t ignore your anger and bitterness. You’re up all hours of the night, clanking around in here, cleaning your guns.” Your eyes welled up as you thought about your next words. “I’m afraid that one day, I’ll here one of those guns go off.” You bit your lip as you held back a sob. “I-I don’t know what I would do if that happened, or what Sammy would do.”  
Another tear slipped down Dean’s cheek. It killed you to see him cry. “Sammy’s a big boy, he will figure it out.”  
You huffed as you turned your body towards him. “Oh, he’ll figure it out, huh? Well, that’s great for him. What about Cas? He looks up to you.” You paused at you watched his face harden. “And what about me? You saved my life more times than I can count and in more ways than you will ever know.”  
That last part wasn’t supposed to come out.  
Dean tilted his head and she wiped his cheeks with his sleeve. “The only reason you needed saving was because of me.”  
“Bullshit, Winchester! The entire reason I’m here is because you save me from that werewolf, before I knew there were really things that went bump in the night. I would be eating hearts or dead if it weren’t for you!” Your face was inches from his as you screamed. “Now, tell me what’s eating you or I’m going to have to break in.”  
Dean closed his eyes. “I just feel like a failure. I mean, I’ve let Sammy down more times than I can count. Cas has nearly died a billion times for me, and actually died like twice directly because of me. And you—“ He clenched his fists. “Don’t even get me started.”  
You pulled back, insulted. “Me? How the hell have I made your life miserable? You didn’t have to let me live here, or let me hunt with you, or teach me almost everything I know. Hell, you didn’t even need to save me that day. You could have let me die and you probably would have forgotten about it after a few days! So it’s your fault I’m here, buddy. Don’t fucking blame me—“  
Dean quickly stood, towering over you. “That’s not what I mean. Letting you stay here was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I just, I didn’t realize I would feel like this now.”  
You raised an eyebrow as you stood. “Like what?” you challenged.  
Dean’s lips crashed to yours. He gripped your hips and pulled you against him, his kiss rough and desperate. He quickly pulled away and studied your reaction.  
“Like that,” he murmured. You stood there before the fearless hunter, totally stunned. Until now, he had treated you like a little sister. He taught you how to shoot a gun, how to exorcise demons. He even held your hand during your anti-possession tattoo.  
But this changed everything.  
You smiled up at him as you took his hand in yours again, this time holding it against your chest. “Do you feel a little better now?” you inquired softly. The Winchester nodded. “We’ll figure this out, Dean. Just remember, you aren’t alone, even when you want to be.” You let out a small chuckle.  
Dean turned towards his bed. “Stay with me?” he asked sweetly. You smiled and nodded as you followed him to his bed.  
After you both settled in, he pulled you against him. The air in the room had changed. It was lighter, softer. You nestled your face into Dean’s chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. You laid there, relaxing into each other. After a few minutes, you heard a noise you hadn’t heard in several nights.  
Dean snoring.


End file.
